What People Mean When They Say Food Issues Are About “Control”
I’m getting a little bored with talking about how “relinquishing control” is the answer to your food problem. I’d much rather talk about how it’s the answer to your life problem.
Because here’s the thing:
People don’t try to control their weight in a vacuum. They try to control their weight in order to control something else.
When I’m thin, I’ll dazzle men everywhere and finally get a boyfriend.
When I’m thin, everyone will think I’m perfect and want to be my friend.
When I’m thin, people will take me seriously at work, be jealous of me, and I’ll get promoted.
When I’m thin, I won’t be lonely, because I’ll have the guy, the friends, the family, and the white picket fence.
Trying to control our weight is really just an attempt to control the uncontrollable — primarily, but not limited to, what other people think of us.
Unfortunately, however, you can’t control how people feel about you with your weight, because you can’t control how people feel about you at all.
No matter what you weigh, there will be someone who doesn’t like you.
No matter what you weigh, you will not be right for every part (or partner).
No matter what you weigh, scary, uncomfortable things will continue to happen to you.
There is nothing you can do about uncertainty in life – except stop trying to control it.
Let go or be dragged.