back to Self

I’ve been seeing a pattern recently.

 A client starts her session by saying, “I can’t get anything done. I just keep staring at my huge to-do list. I feel like I’m treading water instead of moving forward.” A friend in the midst of a major career decision tells me about how she can’t focus on her own intuition because she can only think about the effect that her choice will have on the people around her.

Both women are stuck in a cycle of powerlessness. Granted, we all have those moments. That’s human. The question is, how do you step back into your power when you feel powerless?

The necessary response is both powerful and obvious: Decide to take your power back! It didn’t actually go anywhere. So write it down, chant it, shout it, sing it, proclaim it any way you can. It’s yours. You just need to reclaim it, not recreate it.

If you’re not quite there yet, try these approaches on for size:

Allow your body to react to rhythm. Let’s break that down. Letting go of control is surrender. Surrender is inherently vulnerable. Vulnerability aligns you with your deepest truth. Your deepest truth, no matter what it is, is pure power. Go dance it out, letting yourself move without judgment. Then spend a few minutes in complete silence and stillness. Notice what you generated. Where does your body feel loose and free? Where does it feel settled or excited? That’s power retrieval.

Heal yourself. Your body always tries to become whole. Torn skin knits back together. Broken bones mend. We usually have support along the way – physicians, bandages, casts – but your body heals itself, one way or another. Your soul has the same capability. Find the parts of yourself that feel broken, wounded, lacking and weak. Devote time and attention to those places and choose how you heal. Ask for help. Find support. Power comes back to life when you take healing into your own hands.

Locate and affirm absolute conviction in your capabilities. This might mean making a list of your skills and passions. It might mean doing something that you’re really good at in order to remember what mastery feels like. It might mean confronting a challenge or facing a fear. It might mean generating creative ideas for getting your needs met. It might mean asking a friend to remind you of your vastness.

Spend time with rage and fear, then bid them a fond farewell and go spend time with your soul. Feeling powerless tends to bring up anger, fear, or both. Honor your feelings without judgment. They’re there for a reason, and they’re legitimate. Let yourself feel how you feel. Then dive deeper. Go beyond your emotions and spend time with soul, your truest self. What activities make you feel soft and essential? Participating in them enhances your sense of self. That’s powerful.

Ultimately, power is a choice. You can fully realize your power when you exercise agency. Choose how you feel. Choose how you respond to situations. Choose how you invest your time. Not only will those decisions allow you to step back into your power, but they’ll keep you from losing it in the first place.


Hilarie Dahl is an Energy Therapist, Body Love Coach, and avid speaker. She holds an MA in Communication and BS in Women and Gender Studies from The College at Brockport. Since graduating, she studied Healing Touch, an energy therapy modality focused on heart-centered healing for body, mind, and soul. She now owns a Healing Touch practice in Western New York. In January of 2014 Hilarie started a project called The Raw Boudoir. RB is a blog and coaching program devoted to going beneath the surface of body love through spiritual growth, movement, and simple acts of being seen. Each month she participates in a boudoir photography sessions and uses the photos to illustrate the transformative power of body acceptance. Hilarie also practices equine massage and energy work, travels as often as possible, and loves to collaborate with like-minded people. She believes that we create our life and are infinitely capable of loving ourselves and living joyfully. read more about